what is happiness

finally, I'm done with my midterm and happy Halloween.

I'm so hectic lately cuz of my midterm. but honestly, I'm not doing well in this midterm. I mess all up from the beginning. hufttt. 😞

y'all know right that since at the beginning of this year we should deal with online class. and I think I can handle it cuz when I still studying the language I got the best result. but after I got into university life, I mess all up. like from the start I don't know who is my classmate, or my professor. and every online class, waiittt... I shouldn't call it online class cuz all I do is just watching the video. and it's so boring for me who can't study just watching a video. I mean sometimes I need those kind things too. but most of my professor just give us videos with ppt which in that they like explaining it. I mean like there's no conversation or something. besides even though I have a question it a little bit hard for me cuz I'm the only foreigner in my class. and they never responded to my email too. so sad. there's a time that I wanna give up with everything but I can't cuz I won't make my parents upset with me. besides, they've got a big expectation for me to be a successful person. and thinking about that sometimes its become a burden for me. I mean I'm not a first child but I have a responsibility like a first child. that's why sometimes I envy my friends who have a good brother and sister, cuz my older brother and sister never give me a good example to me. oh, it's just my brother I forgot the fact that my sister died. anyway, life must go on, right? so even though I got a bad score on my middle exam, I'll try not to think about it. cuz it's not a guarantee for success. and everyone's success's meaning is different. and for me, success is having a peaceful life with my beloved people around me. and if I can, maybe have a lot of money to help the other is also the meaning of success for me. 

so hope you who read this post having a great weekend and having a good time in this Halloween.