what is happiness

thank you for being my parents. 

I don't know but suddenly I want to write a letter like this. haha,

it's so stranger. to be honest, I'm the type person who never says such as thing directly, except to my best friend. but lately, I feel like is not fair if I thanks to the others but never to my parents. 

so what I want to say in here is mom, dad I'm so sorry if all of this time I make you guys get difficult time. since childhood, until right now I still bothering you guys with this and that thing, request this and that, etc. I feel useless being your child. I can't help you with anything. I still can't make you proud until now. sometimes I feel like I want to disappear coz you guys deserve better than me. Having me and my brother also my sister, who never listens to you and always acts recklessly it's must be a hard time for you. but you guys always work hard for me, never scold me, and always let me do what I want despite all of the problems that I made you guys still support me.

you guys know actually what the biggest fear in my life is I afraid that I'm not good enough for everyone, coz sometimes I think people around me should deserve better than it, I mean as friend child n sister I want to give the best thing to my surrounding. especially I really afraid that I break your expectation to me. what I mean is I as a child want to give you guys the best thing, a thing that makes you guys proud before I get married. so that's why sometimes I was destroyed by my own thoughts until I feel like I still lacking a lot. even I didn't realize that all this time I've been doing a lot of things. coz I think that what you guys have done to me, what you guys have sacrificed to me until later I can't return it.

so what I can do right now is just praying to God, to give you guys health, happiness, easiness, also power to face many problems. mom, I really grateful that I was born as your daughter. And dad, please keep being my first love, until I find my real love later. I love you guys~pew~pew~pew~  🔫🔫🔫

sincerely,

your daughter 🌻🌻